The Art of Saying No
I recently opened an indulgent delivery from SKIMS. The lingerie line from Kim Kardashian includes bodysuits, loungewear and underwear. Everything is well made and has a purpose. I tried some new items and it really got my head in the game for this article I’ve been wanting to pen about the art of saying no. I felt amazing when I put on some of the pieces and started to reflect: What things are worth splurging on? How do I want to spend my alone time? What events do I really want to attend?
I spend a lot of time thinking about how people can improve their lives, from face masks to day planners. It often leads to my own reflections about how I approach different challenges in my life. As a people pleaser, one of those challenges is always saying “No.” It’s such an important skill to cultivate to live a better life. Here are my personal approaches to help you learn to say “No” so you can say “yes” to more things you love this year.
Remind Yourself What’s Important
I’ll take a very physical approach to this concept. I do this sort of inventory with personal styling clients during a closet organization session. When we’re digging through dresses, bodysuits, and booties, I ask over and over again, “does this make you feel good?” If there is any hesitation, I throw the piece in the donation or trash pile. When it comes to your life, you should ask yourself what belongs in the “yes” pile and what should be moved to the “No” pile. Get clear on what makes you feel your best and who you want to be. When it comes time to say “no,” it will be much easier when you are confident with your personal intentions.
Know What You Want to Say “No” to Ahead of Time
You can generally anticipate questions that will require a commitment from you. It can be as small as an invite to a coffee meeting or as big as a big ski trip to California. You know if a coffee meeting will potentially turn into something rewarding for you. If it won’t, your hour or more of time is more precious than that. You can spend it doing something else that makes you feel good. That trip to Cali? You may have a budget to splurge on a new robe or bodysuit, but a plane ticket, lift tickets, and five days of eating and drinking is a much different expense. You’ll feel better if you spend your money more reasonably on things you’ll use daily.
You Don’t Have to Offer an Excuse
If you want to sit around in your bodysuit and drink coffee and scroll Instagram, that’s okay. If you want to spend a weekend away with your boo boo, do it. If you need to fold laundry and do your taxes, get it done, girl. No one has to know what you are doing with your time and money.
Learn a Few Nice Ways to Say No
Here are a few of my favorites:
That sounds like a really exciting project. I am not the right fit for the project needs, but I know someone who can help you.
Thank you so much, but my calendar is so full right now.
Thank you for the invitation! I have plans, though. I hope you have fun!
My Favorite Self Care Items
When you say “no” and want to spend time with yourself, try a few of these little indulgences:
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