Holiday Guide: How to Start a Conversation at Holiday Parties
It’s an exciting time of year. Different professional and personal invitations slide into your inboxes and mailboxes. You’ve got a few or a whole mess of parties to make it to. You’ll be bumping into people you know well, but also ladies and gents you’ve never met. It can be intimidating and anxiety-inducing.
I still get nervous, myself. I am, however, a professional interviewer, which helps me overcome that feeling. I’ve been getting people to talk for more than decade as a writer and story teller for publications and organizations. I had a few folks ask for tips on making networking and socializing easier, and I wanted to share a selection of tips and questions to break the ice…
Shop the Look:
Three Crucial Tips to Meeting New People
- Make the first step. If someone is alone, head over and hold out your hand. Introduce your self and ask their name. You may save someone who is just as nervous as you. You’ll feel more confident if you take the lead.
- Make people feel interesting. Let other people talk first. Listen to them. Then, respond. Don’t ever talk over them. They’ll notice and feel more at ease. You’ll also feel less pressure when you put some attention on them.
- Look people in the eyes. It’s rare these days someone looks me in the eyes right away. When someone does, I respond more comfortably. The ice is broken more quickly. It takes a bit of bravery, but you can quickly put someone at ease this way.
- Learn how to talk about yourself. “What do you do?” is a simple question, but sometimes folks downplay or over explain what they do. Meet in the middle. Get your 1-minute description ready.
- Know what your interests are. What can you talk easily about? Steer conversations in those directions so they don’t fall flat: travel, fashion, writing, Virginia–those are things I can always talk and connect easily about. I always find a way to connect with someone on those levels.
5 Questions to Get the Conversation Started
How do you know the host?
This is a great way to ask them follow up questions about the mutual interest the host and the guest share. Hopefully, it’s one of your shared interests. If not, then ask them about it:
“I don’t know anything about photography! What kind of photography are you pursuing? Be prepared to explain how you know the host, too.
What has been your favorite food/drink tonight?
Everyone loves food and drinks! Be sure to listen to their answer before offering information about your preferences. Ask them a few questions about their favorite foods and flavors. Maybe you can learn something new to take home with you:
“You mix LaCroix with your red wine? I would have never thought about it. I’ll have to try it. When and where do you learn that?”
Note: Be aware that some people are in recovery and are not drinking during the holidays. Don’t assume people are drinking alcohol. Talk about food if that’s where the conversation goes. Make them feel comfortable.
Shop the Look:
Have you done your Christmas shopping this year?
This is always a way to elicit a chuckle. You can learn a lot about people and inject some humor into the conversation. If they’re on top of it, tell them how impressed you are and ask about the favorite gifts they found. If they are behind, ask them if they always procrastinate. Share a personal procrastination story after their done. Expose a bit of your flaws.
Do you come to this area of town often?
Whether the party is at your office, at a venue, or at a friend’s home, there’s an opportunity to start with the basics here. If it’s at your office, then you can ask them if they commute to work. Maybe you can also offer some tips about places you like around the area. Ask them where their favorite places in the city are to hang.
If they do come here often, ask them about their favorite spots: What are your favorite restaurants? Do you have a favorite coffee shop? Where do you like to spend time with your family? Take genuine notes! Maybe you have some similar places you love or you may discover a new spot to try.
Do you have any vacations or trips coming up for the holidays or in 2019?
This is always favorite of mine. If the answer is “no” then ask what was their favorite trip they’ve ever been on? Be sure to listen before talking over them with your own travel memories! Ask lots of questions:
Why did you love it?
Do you speak another language?
What was the food like?
What kind of souvenirs did you bring back?
